And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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