sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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