Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
