My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
