oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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