I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
