Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I puked a lego.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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