Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
