WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
