Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
