Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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