i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
