careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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