Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
