The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
