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wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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