Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
