There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
