On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
