I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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