yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
