I want to stick my p in your. b.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
