I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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