Having a random hookup so left but love u
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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