I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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