Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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