I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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