Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
