we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
