Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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