she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Church boner. Awkwardddd
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
