My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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