we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The best revenge is premature balding
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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