It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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