Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize