So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I would fuck him just for his dog
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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