i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
