My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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