Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
