And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
