so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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