Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize