we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
