I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
