i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
