Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
