Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
