they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
