So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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