The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
