TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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