Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
im six kinds of drunk right now
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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