i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
