She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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