you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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