You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
