i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
