Just cropdusted the office
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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