everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
