Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
