I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
