Pappa wants mamma naked
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
