um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
