I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
