I need help removing her.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
