doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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