I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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